Beauty in Being Known: Take Two

We all have an inherent need to be known. Community. Camaraderie. Kinship. Kindred Spirits. Whatever you call it and whatever personality type you may be, none of us were created to be loners all the time.

I am an introvert by design and find it difficult to put myself out there, because extended periods of time with people, especially people I don't know very well wear me out. I am your classic "drained by others" kind of gal. I can make small talk. I have lots of experience with it. But if I am forced to chat inanely for hours or for multiple events night after night, I come home emotionally, mentally and physically blitzed -- desiring my pajamas (sounds like llamas), a cup of tea, a blanket and sometimes a dimly lit room.

On the other hand, I do find myself lonely at times and longing to be known by someone, anyone,(maybe not just anyone) but you know what I mean. I seek to find that person who will take the time to invest in me, figure out what makes me tick and be a student of the craziness that makes me  . . . well . . . ME!

As a direct result of the many moves I have made over the years, I have gotten to know a number of different people and they me. However, due to living places for less than 10 years a pop (sometimes as few as 15 consecutive months), I have sown broadly in the category of friendship without sowing deeply much at all. Acquaintances are great. But being recognized is far preferable to drifting around a community as a virtual vapor or feeling like you've donned your Harry Potter invisibility cloak every single day.

I guess that's kind of where I find myself these days . . .

Finding myself in this place again makes me appreciate those friends I have gained along the way who have taken the time to know me more than a little over a short period of time.

I ran across a book a while back that reminded me of one of those friends:

This friend knew I loved drawing and thought of me when she saw this book. I love it. I love that she knew me well enough to pick something she knew would touch my heart and leave a lasting impression I won't soon forget.

While I am ultimately glad for the paths that have been briefly crossed, my thoughts now linger on those relationships that have lasted a lifetime -- a far smaller and yet far deeper group overall.

I can't possibly discuss the beauty in being known without mentioning my dearest bosom friend of all time. ML and I have known each other for well more than half our lives. We went to see "Arthur" together, for goodness' sakes . . . in the theater.

We know everything there is to know about each other. We are the ones who originated this phrase below:

We do know too much (if that is truly possible in the presence of a lifelong bosom friend), and so much comfort comes from having someone know everything about you and like you anyway. ML is my favorite comedienne, my lifelong cheerleader, my sense of reason, my accountability partner, my sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, my closest thing to a sister, my friend.

She has been and forever will be the one who keeps me grounded while encouraging me to fly. She knows by the sound of my voice what mood I am in, and she can usually tug me out of a bad one in a way no one else can. She is my solid rock and my anchor, while I am her free spirit and tie dye-wearing hippie who chases rainbows and dances in the rain. She accepts me warts and all, and I do the same for her. We have witnessed and often prompted change in one another, but the beauty of being known is revealed in the assurance that change is not required or demanded in order for the relationship to be sustained. 

What happens to me when ML isn't available, when those closest to me physically can't assuage my level of loneliness, when having the people at Sam's Club greet me or driving out of my way for the crossing guards to wave at me just isn't enough in the "knowing me" department?

Hear me loud and clear here! I am NOT saying I turn to the Lord last. I am not saying He is a final result and that He doesn't walk with me through all the relational twists and turns in my life. He is the first One I turn to in all circumstances. I guess what I am saying is God assures me over and over again in His Word of His power to know me beyond the level of any of my earthly friends -- no matter the longevity or depth they may achieve.

Rest in that today. You are known. You are not forgotten. You are not invisible. You are His precious child, and He sees you regardless of where you are in any of your earthly relationships!

We can confidently pray like Hagar:

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” ¹⁴ That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered. ~Genesis 16:13-14 (NIV)

Leaving a trail of beauty~

Pam

Get to the Meat of It Already

Unless I am mistaken and the visits recorded on my tracker for my little blog are completely inaccurate, I am thankfully not the only one reading here -- which would make it one very lonely and even crazier place than inside my head where all these widely random thoughts are conceived.

So, if you are reading, and I am convinced you are. I wonder if this question ever crosses your mind? "When is the drivel going to stop so we can get to some real substantive writing here?" You may not word it quite like that in your head. You may never use "drivel" in your every day thoughts. But since I have brought it up, let's give it a quick definition. Here is what I found at dictionary.com:

Drivel: noun

1.

saliva flowing from the mouth, or mucus from the nose; slaver.

2.

childish, silly, or meaningless talk or thinking; nonsense; twaddle.



Obviously I am not referring to definition one in this instance, though I could totally see why someone might want that to stop if it was going on here at my blog. 

Maybe I am being a bit harsh in my self-assessment when defining my writing as "childish" or "twaddle", for goodness' sakes. Maybe just fluffy would suffice, but now I do know what I can label "drivel" when I see it. 

Anyway, I have been thinking a great deal since I re-launched an active blog here a few weeks back. What makes me stand out? What do I have to offer of value? What am I passionate about? 

More than anything else, I know I am meant to weave words together. It comes effortlessly. It is a passion, and yet it is more a lifeline than anything else. It frees me and unclutters my mind when I let the words spill out on the page. I have ideas to share that are uniquely my own, as well as those that have been shaped and influenced by my background, my relationship with The Lord, my reading of His Word, or by the people who have crossed my path over the past almost five decades I have spent on this earth. 

Beauty is the thread that connects it all. I am unable to walk through one single day I have been given without seeing the inherent beauty in it, simply by the very nature of my Heavenly Father designing it and allowing it and its events to occur for my consumption. 

He did not make the sun rise and set only for my benefit. I am not that self-centered most days. And yet He is pleased when I take time to notice the rhythm of these and how they influence my perspective on my existence here on this planet. 

The coming days will see me pondering more of how beauty is found in the mundane, how I can leave a trail of beauty apart from fleeting feelings, physical limitations, financial constraints and creative blocks. Beauty will always rise to the top, as it is the foundation upon which I have chosen to build this bloggy home of mine. 

I hope I haven't scared you off in my feeble attempt to write with a bit more substance than cotton candy and leave a bit of that fluff behind momentarily. Fluff will definitely make recurring appearances here, as it certainly has a place amongst the meatier topics. I just know from experience a steady diet of fluff can leave one lacking and longing for something more. 

Heading off to do more research on what makes each day a beauty on its own. Check over here for more great writing as well.

On His Adventure~

Pam

A Crunchy Standoff

Because living gluten free has not taken away my hankering for the taste of a yummy, crunchy snack every now and again (read: pretty much every day), I am always on the lookout for items to add to my list of acceptable snackage. 

While this post is not inherently about beauty, I am sure there is something beautiful to be found in a great snack!

  I tried two different new-to-me items over the past couple of days and had very different reactions to them--both a surprise of some sort.

First up on the blog today is the LiveGFree Brand Cracklebread in Sun-Dried Tomato and Oregano from Aldi.

Let me preface this review by saying this: just about everything we've tried from Aldi's liveGfree line has been delicious. We have enjoyed products ranging from rice pasta to crackers to pizza crust mix to pancake/baking mix (you can read my daughter's take on that particular item here), not to mention the delicious bread offered by this line.

So, imagine my surprise when I got home today with a box of the cracklebread to sample and found it to be like a rectangular-shaped styrofoam plate. I gave it a hearty try and then smeared it with cream cheese in an attempt to redeem its foamy texture and very mild sun-dried tomato/oregano flavor.

It didn't work. The taste is bland and not well-seasoned The texture is not crispy crunchy. It is crisp upon first contact, but immediately upon connecting with saliva it disintegrates and becomes sticky on and in the teeth. Not fun or enjoyable. At $2.99/box for 21 pieces, it would seem like a really good deal. Considering the taste is less than delicious, I will not be buying this item again.

Next up is the sweet side of things. We picked up these cute, little crackers in the snack aisle at our local Ingle's. Grammy Crisps are a crispy crunchy offering in every sense of the word. Crunchmaster is a brand I have tried before, so I was anticipating a positive experience. These crackers are actually listed on the kid product line at Crunchmaster, but don't you dare let these tasty treats be just for kids. At Ingle's these were available for $3.15, but I did find them online for less than that. However, pricing aside, Grammy Crisps are well worth a purchase. Find out more about these here.

You get 25 crisps per serving according to the box inforomation. But I don't know how I would eat so many at one sitting, making the total servings go much further and the value increasing. 

I was expecting a strong Graham taste, but I was pleasantly surprised to find these favored more of a Cinnamon Toast Crunch flavor. And while the crisps are delicious on their own, I found them incredible topped with a light shmear of cream cheese. 

So, overall, the Crunchmaster Grammy Crisps were a hit. Taste and texture is excellent. Good value for the price, though I may be tempted to wait until I can find a coupon next time around. I will definitely be purchasing these little gems again. 

What are some of your favorite gluten free go-to snacks? Let me know, and I will feature them here so we can all benefit from your experience. Have a great day, and check back for more reviews soon.  Also, don't forget to head on over to Write 31 Days for more fantastic posts!

On His Adventure ~

Pam

I Don't Feel Like It

What do I do when I just don't feel like making sure I am leaving a trail of beauty wherever I go? 

What do I do when I would rather crawl back under the covers and hide my head from the events of the day, the week, the month, the upcoming year? 

What do I do when the events of the past several years threaten to undo me and the words of Jeremiah seem like my own? (Lamentations 1:16)

I am your classic melancholy personality. It is a conscious effort for me to see the glass half full or overflowing every. Single. Day. I have been told this kind of personality feeds the creative side of my self. The art I produce and the whimsy I dabble in on a regular basis come from the melancholy segment of my soul.

I talk a big game about living life ridiculously and skipping through public places -- and I do those things with great glee some days. Others -- not so much.

At times a dark, heavy cloud overtakes me and smooshes me under it while I claw, gnash my teeth, and gasp for air in order to resurface and reassess my surroundings with a new found admiration for those who endure the depths of despair on a daily basis.

I am comforted by the life of the author and perfecter of faith. He is called a Man of Sorrows. He withdrew  frequently to refresh Himself and to be alone with His Father. My own struggle is eased in knowing He chose to showcase the struggles of His followers all throughout Scripture. 

Lamentations is a whole book about the woes of Jerusalem from Jeremiah's perspective. He wept throughout the telling. Psalms is full of its own lengthy coverage of tears and sadness as David poured his heart out on the page again and again. These prominent figures in our life's manual from our precious Heavenly Father were not unacquainted with grief, with sorrow, and dare I say it? With depression. While each of them also wrote about great joy at knowing God, they also spent plenty of time discussing their deep despair and days where laying on a mat or shaking their fists felt far more freeing than singing another chorus of "Kum Ba Yah".

Beauty and sorrow mingle together. Grey clouds blot out the sun. I am no less a child of God or Princess of the King on days when I cannot see Him through the fog, summon up the strength to praise loudly or sing a happy tune. 

Some days are just like that. 

What I am grateful for on those days is His assurance that envelops me and gives me courage to keep close to Him in the midst of my darkest thoughts. I know His words, and most times I can cling to them in spite of the feelings that threaten to pitch me to a place of abandonment or thinking I am forsaken.

If you ever struggle to see the beauty in the midst of dark days, I encourage you to try to do what the verse on the photo says. Be still. I can't guarantee anything as a result, but I can with all confidence tell you the rest of that verse is as true as anything God has told us . . . He will assuredly fight for us. That brings me comfort. 

If this post has left you wanting . . . Go here.

On His Adventure through it all~

Pam

I Am A Writer

I can't not do it. (Yep, I know it's a double negative.)
I must be writing.  My writing and my art take many forms along the path to being seen by others:

• A funky, doodle-filled shopping list I choose not to follow once I get to the store. (It's a game I play with myself, and my teenaged daughters now chastise me routinely for it. They also hold the list and check items off, making it far more functional . . . a perk, I must say!)
• A list of lovely names I will never use for the children I will not bear in this lifetime. (Maybe this is in anticipation of the fiction I will one day write?!?!)
• A poem about lightning-filled skies.
• A journal entry kept from prying eyes.
• A "To Do" list with zero items crossed off or completed.
• A note on the back of an envelope to remind my daughters to empty the dishwasher, and "Oh how much your mama loves you both!"
• A shorter list of thanks to let everyone know how my God fills me up and keeps me moving forward each week. Sometimes the list is longer. It is never all-encompassing.
• A deeper, heartfelt introspection about how God made me to be a writer in the first place.
  

As I have walked through the thoughts I've had tumbling around in my head with my Darling Prince, I told him how good it felt to be writing like "me" again. He smiled and told me it was like being in the "zone" athletes talk about so often in those ESPN interviews where their talents are lauded and accolades are showered liberally.

Finding a sweet spot. In the zone. On my game.

No matter what it is called, I am choosing to call it mine. I am home. I have been searching for my voice, and I am finally finding it. I am finding the meaning in it. Out of its overflow from my heart emerges beauty, peace, and hope for expressions of both the writing and crafty kind for the future. Mind and heart full. Fingers singing over the keys.

I write. I. am. a. writer.

I can't not do it. (There goes that double negative again!) It fills me and spills forth like breath.

I am finally exhaling, and it feels wonderful. Stay tuned for more on that trail of beauty I will be leaving and how you can join me!

On His Adventure~

Pam