Humble Beauty

I am such a sucker for flowers. I am that mom. You know the one. I would go to great lengths to pull over the car when my kids were small so we could pick wildflower bouquets. I used my best MIKASA crystal vase to ensconce dandelions or other assorted items others would probably dub weeds. But what are weeds anyway? 

Ralph Waldo Emerson describes them this way:

"What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered." 

I do try to appreciate beauty in what others may overlook. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I do love a bunch of matching flowers in a special vase (sounds like paws) as much as the next gal, but something in this little heart of mine goes pitter patter when a messy handful of wild blooms gets thrust my way. Fewer of these make it into my house now that my kids are all teenagers, but my response is still the same for the spontaneous gesture of flowers. I love them! Not once does it cross my mind that the value of these wildflowers is any less than those of the store bought sort. 

God created each of us with different talents, different gifting, and obviously with very different exteriors. I don't want to get caught in the trap of what people look like or putting value on the book's cover alone.

I spent many years worrying about what people thought of me and focusing on my exterior alone as the measuring stick for my significance and worth. God has had a huge project in me.  Yet He chose to transform me. He was ruthless in some ways and gentle in others. This has been far from a pain free process, I can assure you. 

However, the One Who knows me best and loves me most has not taken one break since I chose to follow His plan for my life back in 1980. Now that doesn't mean I haven't tried to climb off the potter's wheel when He sculpts, shapes and molds me to look more like what He created me for all those years ago. 

I still have days ( as recently as today) when I just want the refining process to be easier. I want the struggle to be simpler. I want to feel beautiful in spite of the chipping away that sometimes leaves me with visible scars and an altered image that can appear somewhat shocking to those who have gotten used to it. 

At any rate, I think I have an affinity for those "weeds" because I so identify with their dubious worth to the untrained eye. I am so grateful I am instead seen by the Creator whose eye continuously zeros in on my value, my worth, and my potential because He sees and knows the purpose for which He made me. 

I think I will go take one more whiff of that lovely red flower floating in a bowl on my counter before I head off to bed. My 14-year-old son still sees how happy those humble gifts make this mama. I hope he never forgets. (Makes me melt). Head on over here for more great writing.

On His Adventure~

Pam 

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Beauty Through Tears

I can distinctly remember the first words I said to my firstborn child. I have watched them a number of times on a less than stellar home video now almost 19 years old. I didn't greet her by name. I didn't say some welcome message I'd practiced beforehand. I didn't sing a song.

I looked down into that face I didn't recognize but knew would forever change my life and said, "It's ok. You can cry. Go ahead and cry. It's ok, darlin'."

Now before I wax eloquent on any inner meanings of these words, I think I was just telling Olivia I wanted her to be sure to cry loud and proud for the sheer health of it in being a newborn and exercising her lungs and all. I did read lots of books while awaiting her arrival after all! Didn't want that mountain of information to go to waste.

Yet what I can't help but see in those first words to my oldest was an assurance her tears were ok. Crying was not something to be held back -- though the idea of a newborn holding back tears is essentially preposterous.

Unlike the classic newborn, I have spent many years holding back tears. I have found the idea of having a good cry to be a great one in theory. Unfortunately the practice of unleashing tears is far less simple.

Seems to me that tears are often treated as more of a joke than a cleansing emotion. We often tease about the "ugly cry"and faux mock those who have one in order to maintain our own sense of "holding it together" or "saving face" to some extent.

I'm definitely in that camp more often than not. Frequently, I have shrugged off the need for a cry by flippantly declaring "If I start crying, I don't know how I would ever stop." Some days I do wonder what I would do if I completely let go and cried over all I have experienced in my journey.

I guess that's why the verse above reached out and grabbed me today when I was contemplating an aspect of beauty I wanted to overlook. I didn't want to talk about my tears. I didn't want to think about how my ability to leave a trail of beauty isn't marred but rather shaped and texturized by the tears I have shed.

Tears hold no shame. Crying offers release and relief. Most importantly, from my tiny little view of the world, God is alert to my tears and each of the reasons for them. He doesn't miss a one of them and collects them in a "bottle". My tears have meaning and purpose. God finds me beautiful in the midst of them and tenderly cares for me while I cry. My God cares so much for me that His word can completely diffuse those thoughts I shared about never being able to stop crying once I start:

"For his anger lasts only a moment,
    but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
    but rejoicing comes in the morning." 

Psalm 30:5 (NIV)

If that one doesn't make a difference or ease my anxiety, certainly this one packs a punch of its own:
 

"God will take away all their tears. There will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All the old things have passed away.” 

Revelation 21:4

The tears will stop. He promises it. I can cry knowing it will not last forever.

So when I came here today, I didn't necessarily intend share about what I consider a vulnerable place full of tears, but instead God confirmed that beauty can indeed be found there. Not only can beauty be found, He meets me there. He meets you in your place of tears too. Find fantastic writing here.

On His Adventure~

Pam

Creating Beauty

I love what Alice Walker said in the quote above. I have made a commitment to leaving a trail of beauty wherever I find myself. Some days that evidence is clearer than others. Yet what I am finding in the every day is "whenever you are creating beauty around you, you are restoring your own soul." 

My soul is indeed restored in the midst of the efforts I make to create beauty. Those attempts, whether they are successful every single time or not, are getting my eyes of myself and enabling me to direct my gaze onto others. I can create beauty in a myriad of ways, from drawing, to writing, to embellishing a photo I have taken so it becomes a message in addition to an image.  

Beauty is so subjective, and yet at the same time it is impossible to put beauty in any kind of box. I love how I can literally find beauty in everything -- especially when I have attuned my heart, my eyes and my mind to look for it. We were discussing this concept briefly during my Bible study last night, and what we all concluded is that when we are anticipating seeing the hand of God at work, we can't help recognizing it. When I eagerly seek him and His beauty in my day, He never hesitates to offer me ample opportunities to appreciate what He has created. 

So, you may be asking, how does this look in concrete terms, something I can get my brain around? 

Let's see . . . Here are just a few ways God has revealed beauty in my life recently and enabled me to create some of my own:

1. Dancing leaves. Don't you just love when you are driving and the leaves do a little dance on the road ahead of your car? I do. 

2. Dancing. Yes, I know I just mentioned it, but this one has to do with me dancing with my kids around the island in our kitchen. Oh, you haven't done this in awhile . . . Or ever? You may want to change that right quick! It may not look exactly like what they do on Dancing With The Stars, but the stream of giggles is a beauty all its own. 

3. A Thank You note. A timely handwritten (yes, on real paper) note of appreciation is a beautiful, if somewhat archaic concept. I am a huge proponent of good manners, and this one is a practice I have diligently schooled my children in over the years. I want them to have character in so many areas of their lives, and this simple gesture is one that extends beauty lasting well beyond the gift they received. 

4. Painting. I love to draw, paint, and doodle. I hope just a little bit of my work manages to leave beauty behind along the way. 

5. Light. I am keenly aware that each day is shorter right now, right up until my almost 15-year-old's next birthday on December 21. I guess that's why I find myself even more alert to the changes in light. Yesterday, on the way to Bible study, the light was streaming from behind my car onto the hills covered in trees ahead of me. It was a glorious light show of color, of texture, of depth and vibrancy. I was caught off guard by this scene that only lasted for the briefest of moments. All the elements necessary for that exact picture blended together into the harmonious beauty I witnessed. I wasn't expecting it, but I was oh so glad I saw it!

What instances of beauty do you notice in your every day events? How does the beauty you see prompt you to create your own expressions of beauty? 

Let me know in the comments, please!

On His  Adventure~

Pam