Beautiful Bringer of Peace

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLIVIA!

You are silly!

You are stunning!

You are fun!Where'd you get that big drink?

You are fun and add so much joy to every day!

You look lovely here. Thanks for letting me "mama" you so closely for 19 years. 

 Olivia, 

Finding it very difficult to articulate anything coherent today in the way of offering you wisdom or advice on your upcoming 19th year on this earth. My thoughts are muddling in my silly old bear's head stuffed with fluff and mingling with all the flashing images of you that rarely leave me where you are concerned. So, let's quickly play a round of "I Remember":

• I remember when they first handed you to me at Baylor Medical Center. I looked down into your deep blue eyes and tried to figure out who this little person would be as I knew nothing of you yet.
• I remember the first time I did something to make you cry, and I thought I would never live it down. It truly did hurt me too.
• I remember the first time I saw my mom hold you. She instantly transformed into looking like a grandma, which was somehow just as amazing as you transforming a couple years later into a big sister after being my baby for almost three years.
• I remember your first day of school and how dwarfed you looked by your backpack but how incredibly excited you were at your new adventure and all the people you were going to get to hug!
• I remember your first dance class, play performance, church singing performance, Vacation Bible School.
• I remember your first band aid, first cold, first hospital stay.
• I remember your first sleepover, first trip away from me, first time to leave the country without me.
• I remember it all, because I have been here for it all. I am thrilled to have been present for your life thus far and can't wait to see what the next step of your journey brings. Happy Birthday, my Darling Olivia!

I found this in the Facebook status of an acquaintance. I found it fitting for you today, precious daughter of mine:

Daughter, He delights and sings over YOU; He takes pleasure in you. He smiles over who you are, over who He made you to be. The longings He gave you are to bring His Kingdom to bear on this earth, to bring beauty to the spaces you inhabit, and to reflect His creativity. You are not one-dimensional. You are made in His image, the image of the creative, glorious, artistic, fun, smiling, holy God. What wells up in you brings Him delight, because He put it there for His pleasure. Accept His gifts to you. It is not because of your merit, but because He is pleased to give it to you. So smile dear one, He loves and delights in you, His daughter. (from Sarah Mae)

"The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17

Happy Birthday, dearest Olivia! I know feelings don't always accompany the reality, but the truth is -- you were chosen for this day by the Lord. He brought you to us, and I am forever grateful. Your name means it, and you have been from the very first day a "bringer of peace" . . . just like the meaning of your name.

On His Adventure~

Love Mama

Beauty in the Boring

Some days are just boring. I am home without the car today by choice. I cannot leave my home, and I don't really want to leave anyway. I am tired. I am in pain. I am . . . boring.

No one will nominate me for an excitement award today, because the most excitement I've rustled up so far is the scooping of my unruly curls on top of my head into an unstructured mop.

That excitement occurred out of necessity, because my neck feels like a toothpick, and the bundle of curls felt like it weighed 100 + lbs. cascading about that toothpick.

So, how do I manage to find beauty in a day enveloped in grey again? Beginning to feel my last move was to Seattle or somewhere else rainy rather than to East Tennessee. I guess the "Smoky" Mountains should have clued me in, but I seriously don't remember so much cloudiness the last time I lived here. Maybe it's just my perspective, but cloudy days seem to be the norm rather than the exception.

Anyhow . . . I am going to claim beauty in the midst of this dreary, cloud-filled day. Here we go:

• I am with my children. They make me laugh, even if we have to resort to my "Laughter is GOOD Medicine" Pinterest board for chuckles.
• I get to stay home. I love days when I don't have to go anywhere.
• I got dressed anyway. That's a major accomplishment right there, even if the clothes I chose are not beautiful.
• Painting. Painting always makes me smile. I shall go paint something posthaste. Grin.
• Watching mindless television. Cupcake Wars is now on Netflix. Woo Hoo!
• Boiled eggs. The perfect and beautiful snack.
• Autumn glory. Somehow the stunning colors burst on a cloudy background. Yay! See, it's good to have a grey day. Right? Sure.
• Getting laundry done in spite of my desire to head on back to bed. Beautiful. It might be because my laundry room looks like this though:
   
  
  
  So, I am off to enjoy the rest of a boring but beautiful Saturday. Every day has beauty when you're looking for it. Set yours to music, and you can soar above just about any circumstance! Check out the fabulous buffet of good writing here. I know I am.
  
  
  On His Adventure~
  Pam

Thursday Thanks Tank #213

A few months into my blogging journey I realized I wanted a recurring post. (Great idea in theory -- not so much in practice unfortunately). I came up with a feature I called a "Thursday Thanks Tank: Filling up the Tank with Thanks" and started making a list each Thursday of how God had been filling my "tank" that week. 

Here's this week's list:

• Color: I love to paint and create. I never cease to be amazed at the plethora of colors available to me. Shading, lighting and perspective all give the colors I love a new life. Hopefully you'll get a peek at what I have been doing with color lately very soon.
• Roku: This little creation has transformed our family TV watching. I may never ever watch live television again. What did we do when we couldn't stop and rewind? Currently loving The Voice, Red Band Society, and of course The Middle.
• Mercies New Every Morning: After a day like I just finished, I am so grateful for the promise of a fresh start every new day.
• Sleep: Simple. Necessary. God ordained. Where I am headed now. 

Have a great Friday! Take some time to be intentionally grateful this week. You'll be glad you did.

On His Adventure~
Pam

I Am A Writer

I can't not do it. (Yep, I know it's a double negative.)
I must be writing.  My writing and my art take many forms along the path to being seen by others:

• A funky, doodle-filled shopping list I choose not to follow once I get to the store. (It's a game I play with myself, and my teenaged daughters now chastise me routinely for it. They also hold the list and check items off, making it far more functional . . . a perk, I must say!)
• A list of lovely names I will never use for the children I will not bear in this lifetime. (Maybe this is in anticipation of the fiction I will one day write?!?!)
• A poem about lightning-filled skies.
• A journal entry kept from prying eyes.
• A "To Do" list with zero items crossed off or completed.
• A note on the back of an envelope to remind my daughters to empty the dishwasher, and "Oh how much your mama loves you both!"
• A shorter list of thanks to let everyone know how my God fills me up and keeps me moving forward each week. Sometimes the list is longer. It is never all-encompassing.
• A deeper, heartfelt introspection about how God made me to be a writer in the first place.
  

As I have walked through the thoughts I've had tumbling around in my head with my Darling Prince, I told him how good it felt to be writing like "me" again. He smiled and told me it was like being in the "zone" athletes talk about so often in those ESPN interviews where their talents are lauded and accolades are showered liberally.

Finding a sweet spot. In the zone. On my game.

No matter what it is called, I am choosing to call it mine. I am home. I have been searching for my voice, and I am finally finding it. I am finding the meaning in it. Out of its overflow from my heart emerges beauty, peace, and hope for expressions of both the writing and crafty kind for the future. Mind and heart full. Fingers singing over the keys.

I write. I. am. a. writer.

I can't not do it. (There goes that double negative again!) It fills me and spills forth like breath.

I am finally exhaling, and it feels wonderful. Stay tuned for more on that trail of beauty I will be leaving and how you can join me!

On His Adventure~

Pam

Who Is This Gal?

Pam Darbonne is a freelance writer/editor/proofreader by trade. Her degree is in journalism, with an emphasis on magazine writing and editing from Kent State University. She has done a number of journalistic pursuits over the years -- including, but not limited to projects for Thomas Nelson Publishers, Fox Faith and FamilyLife.

Pam is a self-proclaimed doodler and creator of beauty. Pam looks for ways to bend the rules, rise above her circumstances and live ridiculously.  She draws inspiration from her relationship with the Lord, the beauty she sees He has created around her, and the daily thriving, sometimes more just surviving alongside those she loves.

Pam has had a lifelong struggle from within to unleash both the voice, talents and gifts God has given her. She has dabbled in blogging off and on since 2005; sprinkling that time with long episodes of silence.

However the years have also been mingled both with God-inspired posts of bravery as well as the reality of soaring above everyday chaos. Pam has also battled an inner desire to express herself which too frequently collides with the penchant for constant comparison and her own shortcomings on the mental measuring stick.

So, in an effort to embrace a fresh start, Pam emerges with her paintbrush in hand, her words intact, and her Tiffany blue Chuck Taylor's tied tightly on her happy feet as she attempts to dance her way through the day -- always leaving a trail of beauty and living life as ridiculously as possible.

Consider this an invitation to drop your inhibitions at the door, grab a paintbrush, marker, colored pencil, broken crayon nub, pack of your favorite play dough, or common yellow #2 pencil and to create something that will leave a mark for future generations. Leave a trail of beauty everywhere you go and see how many smiles you create along the way.

Because, you know what? "Smiling is my favorite." ~Buddy the Elf